His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
