dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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