What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize