The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
