that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
