Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
