I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.