i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.