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Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His hands were made for my vagina.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
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