i don't like sucking hair
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?