i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
