I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
