Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
