Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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