Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.