There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.