she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms