Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
