last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Yup. One sock.