He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing