We're facebook friends in real life
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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