We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
