i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
