If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
