I don't usually arrange sex via text message
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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