Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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