You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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