for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize