so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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