Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
