handjob tips. give me some.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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