it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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