I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
