You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
