Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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