why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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