I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
