3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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