covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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