and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
