hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize