Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Floor bacon is actually really good
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
