do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
