just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize