you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
