Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
