So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize