I hope mine doesn't look like that
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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