so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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