Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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