No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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