new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize