I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
