too bad you live with your parents still
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
