I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
