Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
