Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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