Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
