I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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