Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
