I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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