i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
