why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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