He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
