Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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