dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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