I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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