I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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