I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
