That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize