I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
