Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
